Updated: Dec 28, 2020
You may have heard the phrase ‘ holding space.’ What does that mean?
When someone holds space for you it is a way of saying ‘ I see your pain and I honour you in that pain.’
When someone holds space for you it is a way of saying ‘ You and all your complicated messy bits are okay and I’ll be here until you also see how okay being you really is.’
When someone holds space for you it is a way of saying ‘Although you feel you are falling apart, I’ll stay alongside you until you see how whole you are.’
When someone holds space for you they have no demands on your time or intentions.
When someone holds space for you they check their own feelings and don’t overlay them on your emotions or ask you to minimize yours.
When someone holds space for you they provide room for you to seek and grow without expectation that you will conform to their beliefs or ideals.
When someone holds space for you they empower you to find the answers within.
When someone holds space for you they encourage you to trust your intuition to guide you out of the dark.
Holding space is a gift of love.
WHY HOLDING SPACE FOR YOURSELF IS VITAL
We are often our own worst enemy.
We make unreasonable demands on our time and emotions and then criticize ourselves for our short-comings. We set ourselves up for failure and then remind ourselves daily how worthless we are, how hopeless the situation is and how stupid we were for trying to achieve the thing we set out to achieve.
Yet we are all our own individual vibration, our own unique gift to the world and by holding space for ourselves, we allow ourselves to show up fully in all our capacity.
When we hold space for ourselves, we tread gently on our fears and insecurities and allow ourselves to grow into our confidence.
When we hold space for ourselves, we understand our shortcomings and we gift ourselves the time to better ourselves.
When we hold space for ourselves, we step into our resiliency and try again tomorrow.
When we hold space for ourselves, we face our emotions and give them thanks for the lessons that they have taught us.
When we hold space for ourselves, we fall into the flow of what our heart is yearning for.
When we hold space for ourselves, we don’t take other people’s rejections or criticisms personally.
When we hold space for ourselves, we permit ourselves ( with all our faults) to just be, to honour our truth and to fall in love with ourselves.
Hold space. For others.
Hold space. For yourself.
And watch peace, joy and love emerge.
Within you and around you.
THE RIPPLE EFFECT OF HOLDING SPACE
When you hold space for others to heal, when you hold space for yourself to grow, you send out into the world an invisible vibration.
This vibration holds within it a gentle urging for others to follow suit – to let go of judgement, to release comparison, to step beyond fear, to rise above self-doubt, to forgive.
This vibration encourages and supports on such a subtle subliminal level that it whispers hope to those who need to hear it.
It blows a zephyr of curiosity to those who innately know there is something more.
It awakens the spirit within and brings about a yearning of re-discovery.
This ripple is not dominant or loud, it doesn’t demand attention nor take up space.
It gently settles into the shadows and waits for the light to find it.
Slowly, gently over time, it replaces ego and fear, competition and scarcity.
It cracks open the heart of everyone it touches so that the sequence of holding space begins again.
Fiona van Lochem is a Transformational Coach and healer. If you are looking for guidance and support visit www.butterflylane.com.au