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Fiona van Lochem

Angus Cooper is an Astral Traveller. This is his account of who I am.


19th January 2022

Magic and White Roses

It’s been an intense time. The challenges presented to us by the external world are

numerous, and they now form a rumbling noise that we all just kind of live alongside. But

for many, the ones I’ve heard a hundred times referred to as the ‘Light-Bringers’ - they

have an added extra dimension of discomfort to contend with. Something that, for the

moment, a lot of the so called ‘Normies’ have remained oblivious to.

It’s both a curse and a blessing, as the cliche goes. And truly, it is both of those. Right now,

the blessing part isn’t always apparent, but we know that based on the mechanics of

reality, as we understand them, it must be present in the discontent that is finding us.

There are many now who find themselves able to assist the world, in ways they couldn't

have dreamed of before. Light-Bringers are the vehicles for how nature performs it’s

healing, and how the Creator finds us strewn out across the universe by our own actions

and deeds. Piece by piece, as we assemble ourselves, we also assemble those around

us, and every day we become more whole. This is true I think, even, or especially during

the times when all we feel is dis-integration.

Anyhow - that’s a long winded way of saying that, as I go through these nightly journeys, I

am ever so mindful of putting the pieces together of those around me. One of the greatest

benefits I have noted in these travels, is the liberating and expanding effect it can have on

a person, when they can be shown the truth about themselves - truth that they intrinsically

know, but just needed a slight push to get them to become aware of it.

And so, as I go, I am determined to put these pieces together, for those close to me, to

remind them of the truth that they carry. With that said, I present last night’s work - an

investigation into a very dear lady I know named Fiona.

My entry portal was orange and white, and it gave me a heavy sense of vertigo as I

travelled through it. Down, around, the thing wound in an insane way until it eventually

ended and I was sprawled, in my astral body, out into nothingness.

Nothingness is beautiful, by the way. I am fortunate enough to experience it from time to

time. We think of nothing as the absence of something, in our world, which I think makes

people uncomfortable or afraid. But what it actually is is just the silence that underpins all

of reality - it’s the place where all aspects of creation are silent, poised, just waiting to be

activated and expressed into life. So to sit in it is a most charging, serene and powerful


And so I sat there. Or stood there. Hard to say. There was me, in a body of sorts, simply

enmeshed in the nothingness for a very long while. Eventually, I very gently put the words

together - ‘I would like to know about Fiona.’

‘Yes.’ Came Estelle’s voice, scrolling across my minds eye like a chyron. ‘But you first

need to slow down. Quieten down. Be quiet.’

‘Ok.’ I said. ‘It’s working - things are slowing down.’

‘Yes.’ She said again. ‘To get you the answers here, we first need to instil the silence in

you. Because the story of this one is not loud like many of the others - if you go in looking

for loud and big, you will miss the immensity of it. So stop. Slow down. Wait.’

I did as she said, waiting in that space while the rapidity of my mind, calm by most

standards, slowed and slowed and slowed. In the moments that came,I felt a very soft,

very delicate white light emerging from the nothingness. It took shape and form, then came

closer to me.

‘Alright.’ Estelle said. ‘Now we can begin.’

The nothingness exploded into creation - all in the flash of a moment. A world materialised,

an older world - complete with sand, heat, flies. It wasn’t a heaven or a paradise - it was

something from a time I had reference to in the mundane world that I live.

‘It’s 526.’ Estelle said, now stepping beside me.

‘526?’ I replied. ‘AD?’

She did not respond.


Still, she did not respond.

Strange. But maybe not so - they’ve told me a thousand times that almost all of our history

is a lie - the question I was asking was probably one where the answers I provided were

both lies. No truth to be found there. Also, it didn’t matter, I could tell that. What was before

me now was a marketplace, with people beneath a hot sun trading, talking, milling about.

The more I noted this, the more Estelle paid attention to me, to how I was processing it.

‘It’s Jerusalem.’ She said to me. ‘What you will see will be Jerusalem and Bethlehem.’

‘Alright.’ I said. This was a new one for me - I had never seen these places before, in either

the astral or the physical.

‘Look out there - what do you see?’

I watched a scene from history playing out - people trading goods, people walking with

jugs of water and animals on leads. I saw men and women, going about their day, doing

nothing out of the ordinary for the time they were in. They were, of course, oblivious to our

presence there as we watched them.

‘Did you see it?’ She said, pausing the scene.

‘See what?’

‘Watch again. Concentrate this time.’

She replayed the scene, and I paid more attention - I saw a woman at a well, a trader

behind a kind of stall selling what looked like sandy items (I want to hope it wasn’t food but

I think it was), two men walking with a number of goats on a lead, two women carrying

water in clay jars/bottles. I saw a man walking, looking perhaps a bit more noble than the

others (by the colour of his clothes and his stride) and I saw a woman leaving a house

standing by the door.

Ah… now I realised. The woman - it was Fiona! Different body, different face, but it was

definitely her. It matched the energy signature I had given to Estelle at the beginning of the

night, when I had asked to know about her. She was wearing long clothes like all the

others, and was otherwise unremarkable.

‘Good.’ Estelle said. ‘Now watch again.’

The scene played again. I saw all the aforementioned people moving about, I saw the

more regal dressed man moving with a stride. I saw Fiona, or her ancient equivalent,

opening the door to the house/building and stepping outside. The scene played out, with

again nothing striking me.

Estelle paused the scene again. She turned, looking at me, waiting for me to understand.

‘I… don’t get it.’ I said to her. ‘I don’t know what I’m meant to be looking for.’

‘Hands.’ Estelle said. ‘Once more.’

The scene was restarted for me. The people moved, the man walked with a stride. The

door opened, Fiona stepped out. I watched her even more closely, keeping my gaze fixed

on her hands. Fiona closed the door, then walked a few steps. Then, as I watched, I saw

her left hand pivot, just slightly inside the long sleeve she had - I saw her palm, then saw a

flash of something - electricity, light. Something.

It was so quick, I wasn’t surprised I’d missed it. Not just me - everyone else in the scene

too. It had been instantaneous - maybe even too quick for the naked eye to perceive.

Nonetheless, it had happened.

‘Now you see?’ Estelle said, letting the scene play out entirely. The striding man

disappeared from view, and Fiona seemingly went about her business.

‘I do. What was that? Some kind of magic?’

Estelle didn’t answer the question, not for a long while anyway. She watched the scene,

piecing things together in her mind before she spoke. ‘Magic comes in many varieties.’

She said at last. ‘As a word, it’s been really messed up by the humans in your current


‘What do you mean?’ I asked, now barely interested in the scene that continued to play out

before me. Its amazing how quickly we can get accustomed to our world - even an old one

that’s at first unfamiliar to us.

‘That’s all for here.’ Estelle said. ‘Next.’

We left the scene behind, skipping out across time and space, though remaining quite

close to where we had been. I was aware that, we had been and were now also moving

through parts of history that were accurate - that is to say, they had occurred, and we were

now catching the re-run of them, if you will. These were not scenes that we could interact

with and or change - or at least, if we could, I don’t know how it could be done.

We were then in a darkened room, somewhere nearby, maybe Bethlehem as Estelle had

described. There was a beautiful smell in that room, but it did not mask the fear and

desperation. There was a lantern nearby, and a woman, Fiona I realised, was scrawling

madly onto a piece of parchment. To her left side were a bundle of beautiful, utterly

beautiful, white roses. They had no scent, I knew that. But they were pretty. Too pretty

really, for that place.

‘They come from Persia, you know.’ Estelle said to me. ‘If we had the time, which we don’t,

we could get a better look at them - know that they are perfect, exquisite - they are prized

and sought after all over the known world at this time.’

‘White roses?’

‘No. Those white roses. They are from Persia, like I say.’

‘Ok. That particular kind of white rose?’

‘Yes. When you write this up - make a mention to Fiona she should, at her next available

opportunity, find a white rose and look at it closely. She will at first be disappointed,

because it won't be anywhere near as beautiful as the ones she has in her cellular

memory - but the longer she looks at it, the more she will remember.’

‘Remember what?’

The scene changed again. We were hurled forward, not far, and not by a huge amount of

time. I saw Fiona, running with a bundle of something, leaving the town in a great rush. It

would be hours later that people would come looking for her - officials, affiliated with the

Roman Empire, but split off from them in a fashion most Romans and townsfolk here were

not aware.

Then the scene faded, and I was beside Estelle in a grassy field, somewhere. Somewhere

far removed from what we had experienced.

‘Alright.’ I said. ‘You do know, these things could be made a lot easier if you just told me,

maybe in dot points, you know?’

‘No it wouldn’t.’ She said back to me. ‘That would be the exact opposite of making things

easier. It would just be words and concepts. This way, you get to experience it. You get to

see and feel it - this makes it all the more clear when you put it into words and get it to her.

Or them. Or whoever it is you’re asking on behalf of.’

I thought about this. She was right, of course. So much of our lives are dominated by the

mind, and information we share in words. I can relay words, it’s true, but I can do it a lot

clearer and more thoroughly when I am shown the essence of what the words are trying to


Anyhow - there we were on the grass field. In my mind, I saw that flash from Fiona’s hand,

then the roses, then the running from an enemy that was pursuing her.

‘Endlessly pursuing her.’ Estelle said, reading my mind in the way she often does. ‘This

has been her story in some degree, throughout her incarnations.’

‘I don’t understand it.’ I said. ‘What are you showing me?’

‘When you write this tomorrow, you will struggle. Because, unlike many of the ones you’ve

done this for, this one, Fiona, has energies that go in different directions, and all of them

are subtle. This makes them more powerful, in a sense, and almost invisible for anyone to

see unless they take the time to shut up and be quiet.’

I nodded, but did not speak.

‘Human life has been dominated by the physical - the gross, the large, the loud. Where

Fiona exists, where she has always existed, is in the gaps of that domineering force. She,

like so many others, has fallen for the lie - that the big equals the strong. She never

realised that actually, actually, it’s the opposite. The strength is in the silence, down where

life hasn’t yet arisen. Then higher, in that domain where emotions give colour and vibrancy

to things. It’s only later, down the road of manifestation, that the physical comes into play.’

‘She never realised it,’ I said. ‘But she does now?’

Estelle laughed. ‘Yes. But it took her a long time. And even now, she sometimes isn’t sure.

The woman you saw, back there in Jerusalem and Bethlehem, she was a very different

woman to the one you know now. Back then, her life was one of interweaving the subtle

and the beautiful into the domains of the gross and the large. Which works, but it is made

hard when the gross is oppressive.’

‘I… don’t think I’m following.’ I said. ‘Make me understand it.’

‘Arlight - let me try it this way - When you have a heart that is swollen with all of the most

subtle aspects of the divine - the highest qualities of emotion. You understand that?’

‘I do.’ I replied.

‘Good. So imagine a heart like that. Now imagine a world where all value is placed on

qualities that are the opposite of that. Worse - imagine someone, with that heart, finding

themselves in a physical world, where they are constantly told they are less-than, or are

not enough, or are otherwise diminished. Imagine what that would do.’

‘That would hurt.’ I said.

‘It would - it does - but it’s a lie. A dangerous, awful lie that people worked very hard to

convince her of. Not only was she convinced of it, she began to work as her own jailor -

doing the work of the demons who had lied to her, and proving them correct in how they

saw her, by ensuring she saw herself the same way.’

I stopped, considering the emotion I was suddenly feeling. A sadness - a heavy, great

sadness that seemed jarringly out of place with the refined and perfected emotions I had

been holding only a moment before.

‘You need to understand this.’ Estelle continued. ‘She spent a great amount of time

through the aeons, making herself fit into worlds that didn’t understand, and didn’t want to

understand, what was actually valuable about life. And so she had this oppression on her,

again and again, and all the while she reflected that back at herself - she made herself

wrong to suit the jaded world.’

‘This is similar to Tony.’ I said. ‘There’s a similar theme here.’

‘Fellow travellers.’ Estelle replied. ‘Similar, but also infinitely different. Tony suffered from a

cruelty of isolation that was forged over an eternity - Fiona lived the delusions of very

controlling entities. Both suffered, but Fiona made herself the enemy of herself, to appease

the madness in damaged people.’

‘Why did damaged people pursue her?’

‘Why else?’ Estelle replied. ‘Because what she had was valuable. Because the sheer

power and beauty of her emotions were irresistible to them. She, like all people, has the

capacity to create heaven - and that makes them targets for forces who want to create

hell. It just so happens that she is exceedingly good at creating heaven - she has more

power at her disposal than most do. And as a result…’ Estelle shrugged. ‘As a result,

forces come, and they press on that frayed nerve, in the hopes she will adopt their version

of reality, with herself the one who bears the burden of it.’

I took another moment. It was all piecing together for me, in ways even I can’t describe.

‘But this isn’t relevant to her, anymore.’ I said after a time. ‘This is old.’

‘Very old.’ Estelle confirmed. ‘She finished the last of this, in this current incarnation she is

in. She did away with that pattern, she rose up within herself, she used her own magic,

and she has restored her own wholeness.’ She paused, frowning for a moment. ‘But it was

hard for her. A subtle heart feels the stings all the more, and doesn’t often weep where it

can be seen. I see here…’ She trailed away, then kept speaking, ‘She is tremendously

loved by the babies - but she doesn’t realise just how much that is true. She will, soon, but

right now, she is not grasping the enormity of how much love is there for her. Also - she

had something especially nasty occur when she was twenty-four - you don’t need to know

the details of what that was, you just need to know, she needs to know, that she managed

it beautifully. She may not agree, but from where I am looking - she balanced it all out


I felt the emotions begin to fade. The heaviness, the… despair, began to lift and dissipate.

‘But that’s enough of that.’ Estelle said. ‘In fact, I will say this now - for her, the worst thing

she could do is to look back at her past. It’s finished, she won, it’s over. If she looks back,

she will give herself a neck-ache, because all of her work has led her to this moment she

is in - and let me tell you, it is a moment she is stronger in than she has ever been before.


Yes. Yes I could see that was true.

‘Alright.’ I replied. ‘So she is to know not to look back. What else can we tell her?’

Estelle smiled, and suddenly I had the upliftment of the heart again. Now I could feel a joy,

an irrepressible, wildly spreading bliss that was the true nature of Fiona’s heart - a glimpse

offered to me in that moment. ‘You feel that?’

‘I do.’ I replied.

‘Well, that’s her magic. That’s the unique brand of life and happiness that she has bought,

into this life. This is her nature, now fully expressed and fully expanded - the results of

years of work and a dedication to inner truth. This is what flows in her now, if only in small

doses here and there, sometimes beyond her awareness.’

‘Wow.’ I replied.

‘Wow is right.’ She moved closer to me, very gently imposing (mentally) the picture of the

roses back over my mind’s eye, but not enough to block out the field we were in. ‘This is

why I say, don’t look back. For everyone, but for her especially. All that she has been

through back then is for this moment, right now, in the world that is undergoing the

transformation. This, this is what she brings to that collective mind that is emerging - that

has emerged.’

It took me a moment to grasp it. Like Estelle had said, energy of this nature is difficult to

define. It’s not loud and in your face like my own energy is, or the energy of many others

I’ve looked into in that astral space. It’s all encompassing and life could not exist without it

- and yet, it’s difficult to actually pinpoint it. Which is what makes it so rare, I suppose. And

why it is so sought after.

‘Magic is her birthright.’ Estelle continued. ‘Magic, the same magic she used back in

Jerusalem, but not external. That was magic for that time. In this time, this world, her

magic is in more need than ever. But it isn’t for show, or for combat, or for survival - it’s to

bring a heart-hungry world to the feast of what she has toiled to imbibe. Her work now is

the unfoldment of that magic, into the hearts and minds of the people who will soon, so

very soon, be ready to shut up and start listening.’

I felt very at peace now - like I had been taken on a trip describing the very powerful

evolution of a profoundly powerful person, and the beauty of it was, she had done all the

work herself. I got to observe, and see the fruits of all of this labour, and see just how

bountiful the harvest was. Whether she is aware of that harvest I don’t know - but if not,

she will be one day.

‘Magic.’ Estelle continued, nodding now. ‘Magic is her domain. Magic is the energy through

which she has created these inner miracles. Tell her to keep practicing it - to expand out

from what she knows, and to bring that heart to as many endeavours as she can. People

are counting on her.’

‘Alright.’ I said. ‘And the white rose?’

‘Oh.’ Estelle hesitated, then spoke ever so softly. ‘The white rose is a symbol - a symbol of

the past, the present, and the future. I would tell her to look into that rose, but only ever do

it looking forward. She may be surprised what she finds there.’

And with that, I felt the entire enterprise was at a close. I had a deeper, more profound

appreciation for this person now, as is the case with people when you get to glimpse that

aspect of them. With the work finished, I watched as the scene faded away, and my next

job for the evening was waiting.

Before I left, however, before that grassy hill faded, Estelle nodded upward. I followed her

gaze, seeing a brilliant, dark jade coloured horizon.

‘Tony.’ I said, remembering the colour and the feeling.

Then, beneath it, rolling out like a cosmic Persian rug, a softer, more gentler green

spanned the areas of the horizon that dark jade couldn't touch. It made the original

complete, and it utterly balanced every aspect of what I was perceiving.

‘A pretty good match, wouldn’t you say?’ Estelle asked me.

‘Yes. Seems pretty good to me.’ I replied.

This concludes Fiona’s aspects of the night of the 19th January, 2022.

Why do I do what I do?

Simply because I love helping people find that little kernel of themselves and alchemise their limitations.

I love guiding and empowering people to see their full potential and live and be it, to connect fully with their energy.

Why ?

I want to help you experience yourself and fall in love with yourself and the life that you can create for yourself.

Because when you do, when you fully embrace your potential, your creativity, your intuition, your knowing, your magic, and your kickass confidence it starts a ripple effect.

When you step into your truth, when you fully OWN and BELIEVE in your strength and empowerment you exude such confidence that it invites others to do the same. Often, without knowing, you inspires others to reach within and find themselves too. To reconnect to self. To bring about community.

There is strength in intuition, in support, in encouragement, in unity that no amount of competition, fear, insecurity or scarcity can undo. Once you remember the truth of who you are and claim it fully for yourself you become a formidable and healing force in the community.

This is what the world needs now. It needs healing and nurturing, love, kindness and understanding. This can be achieved once you stand in your power and share it with others.

Is this possible?

Oh yeah!

Why me? Because it's in me, it's the fibres of who I am and what I am here to do. Life has thrown shit at me and I've survived. Life has pushed me and I've pushed back. Life has asked me to level up, to dig deep, to connect to my magic, my spirituality and woo woo side and really stand strong in the truth of who I am. I am intuitive and connect with my inner knowing to guide me in helping you.

So if you are stuck, I can help you find the way to become unstuck. If you are lost, I can help you find the pieces to put yourself back together again.

If you want support to grow in a way you never ever thought possible, I can help you.

I will intuitively connect energetically, empathetically and spiritually to help you see things within you, unlock your potential and release your limitations.

Whatever your challenge is, I can help.


Knowing you, understanding you. Connecting with you. Empowering you.

Empowering you to understand and transform all that is holding you back.

Part of you will be resistant to this. Why? Because you know that change is required. Change means shifting things around. And that can be scary. But hiding from it will only make the wounds fester.Change also means new opportunities. That's why support is vital and I am that support.

Don't look at the top of the mountain and think 'I can't get there.' Focus your attention on the first little step. Step one, just do it. Step two, realise you have no clue. Step three, do it anyway. We'll walk together, swearing and laughing, stumbling but figuring it out.

Why do I do what I do?

Because of you. Thank you x.  

Fiona xx




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